Draymond Bitch Ass Draymond Green Funny
Photograph: Getty Images/Patrick Johnson
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Abe Beame is cool with Fatty Joe interim as the Knicks' new ambassador, only as well wants y'all to know the guy has lived in Florida for like 20 years running at present.
At that place'south a fight fan of a sure age, who grew upwardly worshipping the likes of Tito Trinidad and Bernard Hopkins, and but kind of missed the boat on MMA in general, that has been starved and left out in the common cold by Jake Paul'south social media influencer fight clubs. We miss the heyday of the Sat night PPVs in Vegas, the thrill of Puff getting blood on his white suit in the front end row, the unstoppable strength coming together the immovable object, the shifty promoters and dubious decisions. I feel similar pure shit and just want it back, similar now.
Well, there were no actual punches thrown, and no belts at stake, merely on Tuesday we were all invited to watch two heavyweight combatants enter the squared circle. They are seasoned masters of their crafts, intense competitors who push past all the common and reasonable codes of restraint and decency, even when they probably should adhere to them. Basketball? No friends, these two are decent at their actual professions, but they are masters, Gods among men in the sport of the passive aggressive pull quote, the snippy interview, the quote Tweet response. They are Kevin Durant and Draymond Green, world grade shit talkers.
In one corner, hailing from Prince George's Canton in the DMV, we have Kevin Wayne Durant. A 6'10 *ahem*, 240 pound *AHEM* beanpole who either wasn't hugged enough or hugged far besides often by his female parent as a child. He wields a devastating subliminal jab, and over the course of his stunning fourteen yr career every bit an oversensitive asshole has literally never been happy with the framing of a single question. A truly formidable competitor.
In the other corner, Draymond Jamal Greenish Sr., born and raised somewhere called Saginaw Michigan, is listed at 6'6 just is actually probably like half dozen'4, (I tin can attest he comes up roughly to Kristaps Porzingis' nipple. And so, however tall that is) and weighs in at 230 *AHEM*. Greenish is a rhetorical Southpaw, a master of timing, keeping his opponent off balance with naked vulnerability and a fearlessness of opinion that borders on recklessness, but he can salvage even the worst feint with an absolutely devastating truth to ability haymaker.
The two men terminal crossed swords on KD's podcast, the ETCs (?), where some guy named Eddie did a mind boggling amount of the talking, merely their offset face off was in Golden Land, as teammates, when KD was mad Dray didn't laissez passer him the ball, and Dray responded by dousing Durant in Kerosene, setting him on burn, and pissing on his smoldering corpse. The media, and the two players, have allowed information technology to define the terminate of KD's stretch as a Warrior, and their relationship as ballsy frenemies.
For the tertiary and decisive third friction match they met on Green'due south "dwelling turf", a Bleacher Report podcast that I estimate every player in the NBA is going to have one of by 2025 (It'southward called…….Chips, which is a decent concept but an incredibly dumb name). Here'southward my tale of the tape:
0:47: Dray opens with some slow pitch, "Oh hey Kev, what about one of your first coaches?" If you watch closely, he'southward asking the question out of the side of a smirk and I can officially study a production assistant at the taping told me he was doing the wiggle off hand gesture as KD was talking. Pure alpha shit.
i:24: KD is rocking an Oakland Athletics chapeau. What's the message here? A tribute to where he played? A subliminal underlining how artificial it was that the Warriors sold out their home base of operations to move across the bay? Could either be kowtowing (bad) or Machiavellian (good-ish), or both?
ane:49: "And then yous went to high schoolhouse, and you lot went to several different high schools". Man this guy is so fucking good. The niggling cutting remarks, the insinuations, the applied emphasis. Suggesting that KD is the rootless wandering pilgrim, with no abode base and no loyalties. It's an aspect woven into his history, into his Dna. It's a dumb question that goes nowhere, just he's already working the body, getting in KD's head. A savage.
2:thirteen: Oh man, he hit him with the classic Trump "Many People Are Saying" to draw the link explicitly in example anyone at home wasn't connecting the dots. A wild early shot beyond the bow.
ii:27: "In my opinion Texas is a football game school." Homo…shit all over his alma mater, subtly reminding us Dray was a iv-year Michigan Country standout, winning scores of accolades and that he's a winner that sticks. KD weakly responds past proverb there were other good players on the team and the metropolis was cool, essentially his logic for jumping send from OKC. Information technology's getting late early, folks.
iii:07: Draymond basically calls KD a bowwow hither, this is an actual knockdown. "You never played the 4 in your life, till you came to Golden Land, actually." He's accusing the lanky, soft spoken kid of playing out of position because he couldn't take the physical contact downwards low. KD'south response: "I played a trivial bit in college, considering I couldn't handle the ball that well." Ring the bell, for the love of God. Dray has the loftier basis.
3:47: A stunning counter shot from KD! In an endeavor to be cocky-deprecating, and kind of poking the carry once again, standing the conversation almost KD playing out of position:
Dray: And so you callin me a strong?
KD: I mean, nah, you lot're no stiff domestic dog. And you not even big bro, you similar, 6'6. You play bigger than what you actually are.
KD'southward strategy begins to sally here, that he's the superior role player with superior skill and mobility, while Draymond is a schleper who lumbers around, making up for his talent deficit by existence equally obnoxious on and off the court every bit humanly possible. A daring approach, we'll see how it plays out.
4:27: "I call back, reading a argument where y'all said: "I'k tired of beingness a number two. I was the number two pick, I was the number two player in the country, where was that coming from, like why did you experience that." Vicious. It'due south a pull quote from a Lee Jenkins' SI slice from 2013, coming right on the heels of falling to the Heat in the Finals. Dray is calling out KD's inferiority complex, his demand to brand decisions to serve his ego, his self-sabotaging mechanism. Why he left the Thunder, and eventually, why he left the Warriors. I tin only assume Draymond Dark-green has both Woodward and Bernstein working research for these interviews. This is Isaac Chotiner, this is David Frost. This guy is going to win a Peabody on TNT.
4:50: Can someone improve at the cyberspace than I am please plow Dray'due south reaction face hither into a gif? Can Spielberg cast Dray in his next film?
6:39: "But in my stance, afterwards year two? You were over it. You were done with information technology, and you lot were on to the next affair. But nosotros had the opportunity to three peat, and in my mind, what brought you lot back to Golden State in year three, was just the opportunity to iii-peat. Simply information technology didn't feel right for yous no more." Then Dray is setting up something he's going to drive home shortly, real 12-dimensional chess being played here, calling out Durant for quitting on the team and being checked out. Just also, for sniffing a ring and existence an opportunist, using the team to attempt to buttress his own legacy. Once more, guys, I must emphasize this, Draymond Green is smarter than we are.
7:30: This is a massacre. Information technology's the unforced errors. KD responds past saying what held him back every bit a basketball player was undefined roles, clipping his own wings and basically calling himself a dollar store windup toy. I need a potable.
8:xiii: *Drinking glass of wine later* Another wardrobe bated: KD is wearing olive paisley highwater sweats, a vintage print t-shirt I can't identify, but I'yard guessing is like a Givenchy collab or something, some printed dogie hugging socks, and what I believe are low Travis Scott Air Hashemite kingdom of jordan 1s. Dray is wearing a biscuit shirt, black shorts, and a pair of low somethings that resemble skate shoes with no socks. I've never actually sat down and watched the start televised presidential contend between Kennedy and Nixon, where Kennedy won the presidency off the visuals lonely, just at present I don't demand to.
nine:00: Some grappling. Hither's the big takeaway headline from the interview, and KD's real opportunity to describe blood that he of form leaves in his corner. Dray asks how their argument affected KD'due south decision, and he decides to blame management??! Let's just consider this for a moment. Durant was leaving. We knew what urban center he was heading to, if not the borough. It was common knowledge. As a outcome of a silly on court spat, Dray simply voices the things his camp had been leaking, and we were all thinking and had been saying all flavour. And at present KD and Dray (complicit in this as well) corroborate to agree that if Bob Myers and Steve Kerr had just, I don't know, taken the two of them kayaking or some shit, KD would still be a Warrior? Close the fuck up. I'thousand going to give this to Durant on points considering he doesn't have to, you know, be coached by Kerr anymore, and in October Dray will exist. Just somehow I call up Kerr and Myers will see this for the patronizing bullshit it is, and not give a fuck.
11:30: No thought why, because this is about as congenial every bit the interview gets, merely KD looks like he'due south about to weep.
11:46: The laugh/exhale from Durant here, when Dray describes his intensity and the Fleck on his shoulder, is priceless. Frame it.
12:54: "But the person who went also far was always Draymond Green, to the betoken where I felt that yous were trying to establish that you were not playing around. Y'all not gonna walk over me fifty-fifty though I was a second round pick and I'm undersized and I'm not every bit skilled every bit y'all want me to be, or I don't play the way y'all traditionally like a player my size to play. I felt the same style about Russell Westbrook considering of his story…. At present I see why, they testify they ego, they show the pride that they accept, they show the chip that they have on they shoulder considering information technology is hard as shit to make it everyday. But you pushed it to a limit where information technology'southward like, information technology'due south cool to be who I am, and not apologize for it all the time."
KD finally punches dorsum, and drops a hammer! He basically tells Draymond he sucks and it'southward all effort, and so compares him to his sometime hated teammate. It's classic, gorgeous, catty Durant. In KD's telling, Dray was an underprivileged hustler who had to scrap for every minute he ever played, a grinder whose Scrap is both his approving and his curse. Also calls him an asshole. Chef's osculation KD.
fourteen:58: "Just over the form of the years, your answers, how you deal with the media has changed, why is that? Is that just who you grew into? Is that just because of the style they act with certain shit, why is that?" Kind of a weak jab by Draymond, feels like he'southward baiting a trap, showing his left and appearing to open himself up by Durant attempting to go Durant to take the allurement and dig a deeper pigsty. He's also calling him a temperamental, whiny bowwow. Durant is smart enough to not really take the bait, but calls himself a genius. A launder.
16:03: Fuck. Draymond is so expert. Can nosotros skip TNT and transport him straight to threescore Minutes? He's asking Durant about his Twitter burner, and then making fun of him on Front Street, simply he manages to frame information technology in a manner that allows him to later explain his intention was to allow Durant know "He's keeping it existent, At present." I hateful who is writing this guy'due south questions? Alice Munro? Raymond Carver? Lorrie Moore? Ernest Hemingway? The snub nosed genius, the economy of word, the acid dipped in empathy. Whoever it is, they're not beingness paid virtually enough, especially if it'due south Dray himself.
16:38: This YouTube video has the different subjects blocked off with titles. I simply noticed this 1 is called "KD's Twitter fingers and burner accounts". Then sorry to anyone invested in this piece. I take died. Artificial Intelligence has scanned through thousands of words I have written and is finishing this for me, in my vocalization.
sixteen:49: "A lot of people enjoyed seeing y'all lose in 2016." DURANT SWINGING WILDLY FROM HIS HEELS.
xviii:09: "In my opinion, the (2021) Finals does non compare to Warriors-Cavs, even Warriors-Raptors. Do you lot have any regrets about that knowing that, we probably would've won v more championships." Dark-green WITH A Vicious LEFT. Calling Durant short sighted and selfish, a actor that "doesn't care" about winning. Durant's response is appropriately unconvincing. He blames his lack of a ring this year on Brooklyn's health problems.
19:03: Kyrie is out hither communicable STRAYS. A fucking headshot. Y'all love to see it.
xx:29: And so, here's where a lot of the offline, old schoolhouse Brooklyn basketball coach guys (the dudes who think Taj Gibson doesn't become plenty playing time) I'm friends with think the real blood was fatigued. I probably shouldn't write this, simply there's a theory floating around in Flatbush that with the "child" line of questioning, Draymond is- (Redacted, feel free to employ for a FOIA Asking in thirty years.)
(Side note: Sentinel Durant's confront in this clip, and tell me he deadass doesn't expect like someone preparing to get snuffed.)
23:20: One time again, a masterclass. Green gets to the eye of what everyone has always wondered and speculated about when information technology comes to Durant: "What exercise you lot want? What makes yous happy?" And of course Durant is out here ducking pelting drops, falling into the advisedly laid trap by spitting emo third grade poesy Sanskrit. I just…. I've never seen annihilation like this. My kids will not be attending college because I absolutely have to be sitting front row, middle courtroom when the Nets host the Warriors this season.
23:51: Even the handshake feels like an Avon and String on the balcony moment. I too just need to give a quick shoutout to the editor of this, considering there'due south no chance any human being could be as bad in conversation as Durant was here. You lot take to work, to accept a true eye to clip something so utterly damaging. I simply checked the credits, and information technology actually turns out Walter Murch cutting it, which makes sense. This is pure cinema.
Concluding Thoughts: I mean, obviously, 12-0, assuming there'south no such thing as a knock out in an interview. Draymond completely washed Durant. This was a fucking deadfall/massacre. One of the all time great media hits. A fucking assassination. A star is born. And that star is the God, Draymond Green. Congrats champ.
Source: https://www.passionweiss.com/2021/08/19/breaking-down-draymond-green-kevin-durant-interview/
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